How I Made The Angels Cry
Meleisa Betts
ISBN: 9781934947005
Asta Publications
Reviewed By Heather Slocumb
Official Apex Reviews Rating: 
"Life
to me is not like a box of chocolates, life is a Pandora's Box filled
with 'what if's.' It doesn't matter how rich you are or how poor you
are, you going to go through hell in some form or fashion unless you
are just plain lucky."
Molly Bell claims to have done two
lifetimes' worth of living in her short time on Earth, and, by all
accounts, such a remark is a stark understatement. Born and raised in
the one-horse town of Marionville, Alabama, she quickly gets used to
enjoying a life a relative privilege; her father, the town's largest
employer, provides the family with many luxuries and pleasures that
others would literally kill to obtain, fostering in Molly a strong
sense of pride - and near conceit - early on. Of course, the flip side
of her father's success is his numerous, careless dalliances with
scores of women from all over the town, often leading to dangerous
repercussions for Molly, her mother, and the rest of their family.
Torn
between her undying love for her mother and her subconscious emulation
of her father's ways, Molly's life soon becomes a reflection of the
emotional dichotomy that lingers within her. As such, she begins dating
men simply for the superficial thrill of what they can do for her, all
the while secretly desiring women for the very same thing – only in the
sexual, not the material. At an early age, she becomes aware of her
affinity toward women, and her struggles to reconcile the resulting
moral conflict yield often disastrous results for her over the course
of the various relationships into which she enters to scratch her
ever-present sexual "itch." At their beginnings, each of her
involvements seem to promise the ultimate spiritual deliverance for
which she constantly prays, but they, without fail, only lead her
further down the path of confusion, loneliness, and pain.
Eventually,
Molly begins to realize that only by searching within – rather than
without – can she finally receive the peace for which she longs day in
and day out. One would think that only a few episodes of heartbreak,
rejection, and brutality would hasten such an epiphany, but Molly's
tortuous journey toward ultimate truth serves as proof that the sojourn
on the road to enlightenment - and the scope of its learning curve –
truly varies from person to person.
How I Made the Angles Cry
is one of those rare, invaluable finds that must be celebrated and
shared widely once discovered. In it, Meleisa Betts takes the reader on
a literal emotional rollercoaster of highs and lows, with all the
typical jerks, false starts, and sharp curves caught in-between. At
times overwhelmingly heavy and sad, her tome nonetheless offers just
the right amount of insight and hope to ensure the reader that, no
matter how dark or gloomy the circumstances, light truly resides at the
end of the tunnel, and ultimate victory over such circumstances is
assured – as long as you keep pushing through the tough times.
A stirring memoir of a life whose amazing story must be told and retold. Highly recommended.
Official Apex Reviews Interview: Meleisa Betts (How I Made The Angels Cry)
Apex Reviews: Thanks for joining us for this interview, Meleisa. We're looking forward to learning more about your book.
The book is actually a not-so-thinly veiled memoir of your own life. What inspired you to make your most personal experiences available for the world to view?
Meleisa Betts: At first I struggled with the decision of making it a non-fiction work. After many nights of tossing and turning, I came to the decision that not only will this memoir help me, it will help others who have experienced or know someone who has experienced what I've gone through. Whether it be rape, depression, loss of a loved one, or murder.
AR: In the same vein, was it difficult to recount some of the most painful episodes of your life thus far?
MB: Yes. The best thing about it, though, it that it's gotten easier for me to deal with. The day that I began writing, it just got easier and easier. Now, please don't get me wrong, the pain and the memories will always be there, but they're so much better for me to manage. I'm not ashamed anymore of someone finding out that I'm gay. I'm not ashamed anymore of someone finding out that I suffer from depression. I'm not ashamed anymore to talk about being raped, not once but twice.
AR: You mention in the book that you were born with a homosexual disposition. Are you convinced that homosexuality is genetic in nature, as opposed to being a matter of personal choice?
MB: You have to remember one thing, and that is that this memoir is titled "How I Made the Angels Cry," not anybody else. So, I can only speak for myself. One thing for sure, I knew at the age of 5 that I was attracted to women. This just didn't jump out at me one day when I was walking down the street. Remember the match stem scene? Well, I was much younger than five.
AR: What do you think compelled you to seek out so many different sexual partners over the course of your early life?
MB: This is a rather difficult question for me to answer. I don't know if I have a high sex drive or whether or not it could have been the rapes. I'm not repulsed by men. 95% of my friends are straight, and that it is a high percentage. Most never knew until now that I was attracted to women. Back to your question: I can only speak for now, and that is that I was lucky as hell.
AR: Have you had a chance to share your story - in particular the details of the murder - on a widespread scale? If so, what kinds of reactions have you gotten?
MB: The response that I got from the DA's office was "no body." The body was cremated. Although the body was cremated, my intentions are to sell as many books as possible, then use the funds from the sells to hire the professional help that I need in making sure that the DA's office is pressured into investigating Phyllis's murder. I believe that this is a second murder.
AR: How has your publishing experience been thus far with Asta Publications?
MB: Pleasant
AR: What are your future writing/publishing aspirations?
MB: I'm writing my second book as we speak. I have no desire to be a publisher. I will stick to the writing.
AR: Where can people learn more about your writings and other efforts?
MB: www.myspace.com/meleisabetts, or they can just Google either the title of my book or my name. Also, they can check out my reviews at Barnes&Noble.com, and Amazon.com.
AR: Also, how can people contact you, in case they'd like to learn more about your story?
MB: My email address is on the 3rd page of my memoir. I will be doing a lot of book signings in different cities, so I will keep everyone posted on MySpace.
AR: Any final thoughts you'd like to share with our readers?
MB: Yes. Unless you have lived a squeaky clean life, you cannot judge anybody else. Also, no sin is greater than the other. Sin is Sin.
AR: Thanks again, Meleisa, and best of continued success to you in all your endeavors!