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The Sound Of Hope - Anne Bauer
The Sound Of Hope
Anne Bauer
ISBN: 9780595520305
iUniverse
Reviewed By Heather Slocumb
Official Apex Reviews Rating:
This poignant remark, made by her sage grandmother, perfectly sums up the internal conflict driving young Anne Marie Willoughby. By all accounts, Anne has lived her life in rather normal fashion: she has a healthy childhood, she does well in school, and she ultimately falls deeply in love with a wonderful, caring, compassionate man. Of course, her upbringing is not completely idyllic (early poverty and an emotionally abusive father are a couple dark spots), but by and large she has little to truly complain about.
However normal it may seem, though, there is something a bit different about Anne’s life: when she’s five years old, she learns that she was actually adopted, rescued from a maternity home when she was only ten days old. Furthermore, the family that adopted her also adopted her two brothers, Thomas and Brian, and has raised all three of them as their own ever since. Once this seed is planted in Anne’s mind, it becomes impossible for her ever to forget, and her curiosity about her real origins only grows stronger over the ensuing years.
Her inquisitiveness finally gets the best of her when she turns twenty-two, and she soon launches an all-out campaign to discover the true identity of her birth mother. Despite a series of temporary dead ends, her resolve remains strong, and her tenacity ultimately pays off when she makes finally contact with the woman who brought her into this world. Her reaction, naturally, is mixed – but it hardly compares to the fallout that comes from her parents, brothers – and even her fiancé – as they struggle to understand the motives behind her actions. As a result, Anne is forced to reconcile both sides of the emotional tug-of-war left in the wake of her quest – and it proves to be quite the daunting task.
Taut and compelling, The Sound Of Hope is the kind of rare story that comes along every so often that is able to pull at the heartstrings in a variety of equally impactful ways. Anyone who has ever struggled with issues of personal identity or self-awareness will certainly relate to Anne’s internal struggle, but parallel to her dilemma is that of her family members, who, after having cared greatly for her her entire life, are suddenly confronted with feelings of inadequacy, envy - and even rejection - in the face of her actions. Add to all this the emergent shock of her birth mother who, twenty-two years later, must face the resurrected ghosts of a past that she was convinced would never again resurface, and you have the makings an understandably volatile, emotionally explosive situation.
Despite the potentially disastrous repercussions, though, Anne and her family – both adopted and biological – manage to navigate their collective way through the circumstances, however rocky it may be. Made possible by the very real love that they all share for one another, such a sacrifice stems from the strength of proven bonds that have been forged over the years – and, curiously, even the natural bond that Anne shares with her birth mother, despite the fact that it has never been nurtured. Regardless of how clichéd it may sound, in her stirring true-life tale Bauer does a commendable job of showing just how effectively the power of real love can weather any storm – emotional, spiritual, or otherwise.
A riveting story with a timely, memorable message, The Sound Of Hope is recommended reading for many a jaded heart in these seemingly hopeless, cynical times – most especially those who remain unconvinced of the indomitable power of love.
Official Apex Reviews Interview: Anne Bauer (The Sound Of Hope)
Apex Reviews: Anne, thanks for joining us for this interview. We're looking forward to learning more about your book.
Given how sensitive and personal a subject it is, what inspired you to present your life story for the world to see?
Anne Bauer: What inspired me the most to write The Sound of Hope stems from the numerous comments I have heard throughout my life about how adoptees hurt their adoptive parents when they decide to search for birth relatives. I, along with many other adoptees, have been told that instead we should just be grateful that our adoptive family raised us. Most people cannot come to understand the natural, innate need to know your own roots, and my memoir was written to demonstrate this need as well as to show just how damaging these types of comments have on adopted individuals. I am also hoping my memoir raises awareness for civil rights of adoptees and will instigate reform in laws pertaining to access to adoptee records.
AR: How did you come upon the inspiring Irish proverb that leads off the book?
AB: I chose the Irish Proverb, “Earth has no sorrows that heaven cannot heal” because I love the way it gives hope that, no matter how bad things are during your life, all will be healed once in heaven. I knew this quote would be a beautiful opener for my memoir because my story is, after all, about hope; hope for reform in adoption laws and practices, as well as hope that everyone will come to realize that the cruelest thing a human can suffer is to be deliberately cut off from your own family and friends.
AR: What was it about the von Trapp family in "The Sound Of Music" that made you feel a special kinship with them when you were younger?
AB: Just like the von Trapp children, I, too, lost my mother, only to be replaced by my free-spirited and full of life grandmother who reminded me of Maria. Also, my father, very much like the von Trapp father, was very strict, although I knew deep inside that he still loved us, just as Captain von Trapp loved all of his children as well.
AR: Out of all her 21 grandchildren, what was it about you that led your grandmother to forge such a special connection with you?
AB: I often wondered about this as well and can only guess that the two of us must have been some type of soul mate to each other. Not only did we both look very much alike - even though we weren’t blood related - but there was a deep emotional connection that enabled us to pick up on the other’s thoughts and feelings.
AR: In the book, you expound on the emotional abuse that you and your brothers endured at the hands of your father over the years. How did it feel in that dramatic moment when you finally confronted him about it?
AB: The day I finally confronted him, I was just plain shocked. I couldn’t believe how quickly he became passive when confronted about his behavior. At the same time, I saw just how vulnerable he was, and my heart went out to him. He had a very abusive father growing up, and the only way he knew how to cope was to carry on the same traditions set forth by his family. So many adults who abuse physically or emotionally were abused themselves as children, and they get caught up in this vicious cycle. This may be why I decided to get a minor in psychology along with my first degree; I had such an interest in human psychology and why we behave the way we do.
AR: Please share with our readers what ALMA is, as well as how they helped you in your search for your birth mother.
AB: ALMA stands for the Adoptee Liberty Movement Association, which was originally founded by an adoptee named Florence Fischer who searched on her own and eventually found her birth parents. She founded this organization to assist others who wished to search and set up a database that matched similar information for any individuals who were separated. I signed up and provided ALMA with all of my vital information, but my birth mother did not sign up, so no matches were made and ALMA did not reunite me with my birthmother; however, they did provide me with a search guide, which I followed and eventually led me to find my birthmother on my own back in 1989 (a time when there was no internet!). I do not believe ALMA exists today, though there are many similar organizations out there such as “The ALMA Society,” which also helps people who are searching.
AR: What was it like for you when you spoke to your birth mother for the first time?
AB: It was surreal. I was so nervous when I first heard her voice and couldn’t believe it was actually her on the other end of the line.
AR: Likewise, please share with our readers how it felt the first time you saw her.
AB: Honestly, when I first laid eyes on my birth mother, I didn’t believe she was actually my mother. She has jet black hair against my auburn and small, dark eyes compared to mine being large and blue-green. I considered that the adoption agency somehow mixed up my file! It wasn’t until she showed me a picture of my birth father (who looks very similar to me) that I believed she was actually my mother.
AR: When you told your family and your fiancé that you had met your birth mother, were you shocked at how they reacted?
AB: I was only shocked at how my fiancé reacted; I initially expected complete support from him, and it was frustrating having to defend my reasons for searching for my birth mother. I was not shocked by my mother’s reaction; she made it quite clear growing up that she didn’t like the idea of me ever contacting my birth relatives.
AR: Please share with our readers more information on the current state of the adoption system.
AB: Only six states in America allow adult adoptees access to their own original birth certificates. The forty-four states that deny adoptees access are directly violating the civil rights of adoptees. Every other adult citizen has full access to all of their own vital records.
There are many organizations that are fighting for open records and for our civil rights to be returned. Adoption in general has not changed much; children are often seen as commodities, and many adoptive parents go through extremes to ensure that their adopted children remain separated from their original families. Many open adoptions (where usually birth mothers are allowed periodic contact or letters) are often short-lived. Emphasis needs to be placed on what’s best for the adopted child, who is at the heart of every adoption. Our emotional needs ought to be respected and given consideration.
AR: What is the main message that you'd like readers to take away from the book?
AB: My main message is to raise awareness for the need for change within the current adoption system. Adoption should be a beautiful solution for a child who needs a loving family, for a mother who cannot raise her own child, and for a couple who are childless or want a bigger family. This is the adoption triad, and all sides and all needs should be considered. Honesty and openness is always the answer; separation and keeping secrets will only cause problems.
AR: What has your publishing experience been like with iUniverse?
AB: iUniverse has been wonderful! They did a terrific job designing my cover, and they have awarded my memoir, The Sound of Hope, with Editor’s Choice and Rising Star designation.
AR: What are your future writing/publishing aspirations?
AB: I love to write and plan to write a fictional story incorporating spirituality along with my hobby, Reiki energy healing.
AR: Where can our readers learn more about you and your efforts?
AB: Please visit www.adopteesvoice.com.
AR: Also, please share your contact information, just in case they'd like to reach you directly.
AB: I can be contacted at: anne@adopteesvoice.com.
AR: Any final thoughts you'd like to share?
AB: Family is very important, and adoptees love both their adoptive and biological families.
AR: Thanks again, Anne, and best of continued success to you in all your endeavors!
Anne Bauer
ISBN: 9780595520305
iUniverse
Reviewed By Heather Slocumb
Official Apex Reviews Rating:
“…it’s
a good boat that tries to find the harbor it left…but be careful: don’t
go looking for someone who might not want to be found.”
This poignant remark, made by her sage grandmother, perfectly sums up the internal conflict driving young Anne Marie Willoughby. By all accounts, Anne has lived her life in rather normal fashion: she has a healthy childhood, she does well in school, and she ultimately falls deeply in love with a wonderful, caring, compassionate man. Of course, her upbringing is not completely idyllic (early poverty and an emotionally abusive father are a couple dark spots), but by and large she has little to truly complain about.
However normal it may seem, though, there is something a bit different about Anne’s life: when she’s five years old, she learns that she was actually adopted, rescued from a maternity home when she was only ten days old. Furthermore, the family that adopted her also adopted her two brothers, Thomas and Brian, and has raised all three of them as their own ever since. Once this seed is planted in Anne’s mind, it becomes impossible for her ever to forget, and her curiosity about her real origins only grows stronger over the ensuing years.
Her inquisitiveness finally gets the best of her when she turns twenty-two, and she soon launches an all-out campaign to discover the true identity of her birth mother. Despite a series of temporary dead ends, her resolve remains strong, and her tenacity ultimately pays off when she makes finally contact with the woman who brought her into this world. Her reaction, naturally, is mixed – but it hardly compares to the fallout that comes from her parents, brothers – and even her fiancé – as they struggle to understand the motives behind her actions. As a result, Anne is forced to reconcile both sides of the emotional tug-of-war left in the wake of her quest – and it proves to be quite the daunting task.
Taut and compelling, The Sound Of Hope is the kind of rare story that comes along every so often that is able to pull at the heartstrings in a variety of equally impactful ways. Anyone who has ever struggled with issues of personal identity or self-awareness will certainly relate to Anne’s internal struggle, but parallel to her dilemma is that of her family members, who, after having cared greatly for her her entire life, are suddenly confronted with feelings of inadequacy, envy - and even rejection - in the face of her actions. Add to all this the emergent shock of her birth mother who, twenty-two years later, must face the resurrected ghosts of a past that she was convinced would never again resurface, and you have the makings an understandably volatile, emotionally explosive situation.
Despite the potentially disastrous repercussions, though, Anne and her family – both adopted and biological – manage to navigate their collective way through the circumstances, however rocky it may be. Made possible by the very real love that they all share for one another, such a sacrifice stems from the strength of proven bonds that have been forged over the years – and, curiously, even the natural bond that Anne shares with her birth mother, despite the fact that it has never been nurtured. Regardless of how clichéd it may sound, in her stirring true-life tale Bauer does a commendable job of showing just how effectively the power of real love can weather any storm – emotional, spiritual, or otherwise.
A riveting story with a timely, memorable message, The Sound Of Hope is recommended reading for many a jaded heart in these seemingly hopeless, cynical times – most especially those who remain unconvinced of the indomitable power of love.
Official Apex Reviews Interview: Anne Bauer (The Sound Of Hope)
Apex Reviews: Anne, thanks for joining us for this interview. We're looking forward to learning more about your book.
Given how sensitive and personal a subject it is, what inspired you to present your life story for the world to see?
Anne Bauer: What inspired me the most to write The Sound of Hope stems from the numerous comments I have heard throughout my life about how adoptees hurt their adoptive parents when they decide to search for birth relatives. I, along with many other adoptees, have been told that instead we should just be grateful that our adoptive family raised us. Most people cannot come to understand the natural, innate need to know your own roots, and my memoir was written to demonstrate this need as well as to show just how damaging these types of comments have on adopted individuals. I am also hoping my memoir raises awareness for civil rights of adoptees and will instigate reform in laws pertaining to access to adoptee records.
AR: How did you come upon the inspiring Irish proverb that leads off the book?
AB: I chose the Irish Proverb, “Earth has no sorrows that heaven cannot heal” because I love the way it gives hope that, no matter how bad things are during your life, all will be healed once in heaven. I knew this quote would be a beautiful opener for my memoir because my story is, after all, about hope; hope for reform in adoption laws and practices, as well as hope that everyone will come to realize that the cruelest thing a human can suffer is to be deliberately cut off from your own family and friends.
AR: What was it about the von Trapp family in "The Sound Of Music" that made you feel a special kinship with them when you were younger?
AB: Just like the von Trapp children, I, too, lost my mother, only to be replaced by my free-spirited and full of life grandmother who reminded me of Maria. Also, my father, very much like the von Trapp father, was very strict, although I knew deep inside that he still loved us, just as Captain von Trapp loved all of his children as well.
AR: Out of all her 21 grandchildren, what was it about you that led your grandmother to forge such a special connection with you?
AB: I often wondered about this as well and can only guess that the two of us must have been some type of soul mate to each other. Not only did we both look very much alike - even though we weren’t blood related - but there was a deep emotional connection that enabled us to pick up on the other’s thoughts and feelings.
AR: In the book, you expound on the emotional abuse that you and your brothers endured at the hands of your father over the years. How did it feel in that dramatic moment when you finally confronted him about it?
AB: The day I finally confronted him, I was just plain shocked. I couldn’t believe how quickly he became passive when confronted about his behavior. At the same time, I saw just how vulnerable he was, and my heart went out to him. He had a very abusive father growing up, and the only way he knew how to cope was to carry on the same traditions set forth by his family. So many adults who abuse physically or emotionally were abused themselves as children, and they get caught up in this vicious cycle. This may be why I decided to get a minor in psychology along with my first degree; I had such an interest in human psychology and why we behave the way we do.
AR: Please share with our readers what ALMA is, as well as how they helped you in your search for your birth mother.
AB: ALMA stands for the Adoptee Liberty Movement Association, which was originally founded by an adoptee named Florence Fischer who searched on her own and eventually found her birth parents. She founded this organization to assist others who wished to search and set up a database that matched similar information for any individuals who were separated. I signed up and provided ALMA with all of my vital information, but my birth mother did not sign up, so no matches were made and ALMA did not reunite me with my birthmother; however, they did provide me with a search guide, which I followed and eventually led me to find my birthmother on my own back in 1989 (a time when there was no internet!). I do not believe ALMA exists today, though there are many similar organizations out there such as “The ALMA Society,” which also helps people who are searching.
AR: What was it like for you when you spoke to your birth mother for the first time?
AB: It was surreal. I was so nervous when I first heard her voice and couldn’t believe it was actually her on the other end of the line.
AR: Likewise, please share with our readers how it felt the first time you saw her.
AB: Honestly, when I first laid eyes on my birth mother, I didn’t believe she was actually my mother. She has jet black hair against my auburn and small, dark eyes compared to mine being large and blue-green. I considered that the adoption agency somehow mixed up my file! It wasn’t until she showed me a picture of my birth father (who looks very similar to me) that I believed she was actually my mother.
AR: When you told your family and your fiancé that you had met your birth mother, were you shocked at how they reacted?
AB: I was only shocked at how my fiancé reacted; I initially expected complete support from him, and it was frustrating having to defend my reasons for searching for my birth mother. I was not shocked by my mother’s reaction; she made it quite clear growing up that she didn’t like the idea of me ever contacting my birth relatives.
AR: Please share with our readers more information on the current state of the adoption system.
AB: Only six states in America allow adult adoptees access to their own original birth certificates. The forty-four states that deny adoptees access are directly violating the civil rights of adoptees. Every other adult citizen has full access to all of their own vital records.
There are many organizations that are fighting for open records and for our civil rights to be returned. Adoption in general has not changed much; children are often seen as commodities, and many adoptive parents go through extremes to ensure that their adopted children remain separated from their original families. Many open adoptions (where usually birth mothers are allowed periodic contact or letters) are often short-lived. Emphasis needs to be placed on what’s best for the adopted child, who is at the heart of every adoption. Our emotional needs ought to be respected and given consideration.
AR: What is the main message that you'd like readers to take away from the book?
AB: My main message is to raise awareness for the need for change within the current adoption system. Adoption should be a beautiful solution for a child who needs a loving family, for a mother who cannot raise her own child, and for a couple who are childless or want a bigger family. This is the adoption triad, and all sides and all needs should be considered. Honesty and openness is always the answer; separation and keeping secrets will only cause problems.
AR: What has your publishing experience been like with iUniverse?
AB: iUniverse has been wonderful! They did a terrific job designing my cover, and they have awarded my memoir, The Sound of Hope, with Editor’s Choice and Rising Star designation.
AR: What are your future writing/publishing aspirations?
AB: I love to write and plan to write a fictional story incorporating spirituality along with my hobby, Reiki energy healing.
AR: Where can our readers learn more about you and your efforts?
AB: Please visit www.adopteesvoice.com.
AR: Also, please share your contact information, just in case they'd like to reach you directly.
AB: I can be contacted at: anne@adopteesvoice.com.
AR: Any final thoughts you'd like to share?
AB: Family is very important, and adoptees love both their adoptive and biological families.
AR: Thanks again, Anne, and best of continued success to you in all your endeavors!